Life Reimagined
Closing one chapter and opening another
For those of you that don’t know, I love roller coasters, and one thing I want to do in life is visit Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. Cedar Point is known as the roller coaster capitol of the world, and their flagship ride is Top Thrill Dragster… Or at least it was.
Tragically in August of 2021 a metal plate was flung off the train car during operation and the plate struck a person waiting in line for the coaster. The woman suffered a traumatic brain injury, and the coaster was shut down indefinitely. Years went by as coaster fans awaited news from Cedar Point on the fate of the roller coaster. Many speculated what would become of the record setting ride that drew in crowds from all over the world, and was loved by many.
In August of 2023, it was finally announced that Top Thrill Dragster would be permanently shut down. Instead it would be reimagined into a new ride named Top Thrill 2. This reimagining of the ride would address the many engineering issues the ride suffered from including the issue that caused the accident. The old track would still remain intact, but new track and a new launch system would give the ride new life. The old would be made new, and the heritage of an amazing ride with an eighteen year history of thrilling coaster fans would remain intact.
When Aurelia transitioned into heaven, I told my therapist that my life had felt like it was split in two. There was my life before and my life after.
I look at photos from my old life and see myself enjoying what life had brought me. There was a light in my eyes. You could see an ambitious college kid who had hopes and dreams to run far in his career. I had fun hobbies, and being a father was pure joy. There were so many images of a life well lived and optimism for a great future I had imagined.
In the after, I see pictures of a broken man struggling to hold joy and sorrow in the same expression. There is grief in my eyes and shame in my spirit.
The great future, the world I had imagined life would look like for my family, was shattered into pieces. Hobbies I once enjoyed felt distant, the career I loved no longer sparked the ambition I once had, and the optimism was crushed by grief.
My life was split in two with no reconciliation between the two halves, and no idea how to reconnect them, until a few months ago when I sat in my garage looking at an engine on an engine stand.
It was the very same engine I tore down the day before Aurelia was born.
I tore it down in the spring of 2023 with the hopes of building it for my 2004 Ford Explorer which needed a new engine. In the weeks leading up to Aurelia’s birth I had been ordering parts for the engine and planning the engine build. The goal was to add a mild amount of power to give my Explorer a little pep. There was excitement in the air with the anticipation of a new engine and a new baby on the way.
Fast forward to the spring of 2024, we were planning to finish the engine that year, but after Aurelia died, the project was completely forgotten about as if it had died too.
While I sat there, staring at the engine, it reminded me of my beloved daughter’s birth. My heart ached for her as I wished I could finish this engine. I knew I had to do it, but maybe, like Cedar Point had reimagined their roller coaster, I needed to reimagine this project.
Several weeks later, I bought a 2000 Ford Mustang GT which shared the same engine as our Ford Explorer.
The engine I was building for the Explorer, would now be reimagined into a race engine, and the Mustang would be reimagined into a drag racing car.
For the first time since Aurelia’s transition to Heaven, I could feel the connection being sewn back together between my old life and my new life. A dormant passion for cars and a desire to race was reignited in my life.
“I see the light in your eyes again,” Gracie said.
She was right, there was a joy in connecting our old life to the new one we were living.
God in his grace, love, and mercy allowed me to reimagine my life into something that was not split in two, but two halves mended together with joy and sorrow.
Death breaks lives apart.
Similarly, two-thousand years ago, our crucified Savior split history in two halves. BC and AD. BC is marked with the suffering of a world looking for a savior amidst the brokenness, and AD is marked with the hope of our Risen Savior who is redeeming a broken world.
Yes, it’s true that death splits apart, but Jesus’s victory over death mends us back together. It is the Risen Savior who truly reimagines our lives here on Earth, and gives us the hope to hold joy and sorrow together despite our circumstances.
James 1:3-4, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
The first time we took my Mustang to the track, and I was sitting in the staging lanes waiting for my turn. I just remembered Aurelia’s sweet smile and thought about how she would be smiling from Heaven as she watched her Daddy reconcile old and new together. I know she would be proud, and each time I visit the track I remember her and how I will always be connected to her.
Enjoy some of the photos below while we enjoy the track:
Thank you for sharing your heart. It's so wonderful to hear a father speak about his walk through a very tough road.
For decades, my favorite word has been PERSEVERE! I was the sole caregiver to my severely disabled husband for 12 years until he crossed over to the other side. I brainwashed us with that word. (I believe they are still here, we just can't see them.)
There's no other option but perseverance!
Sending yall only positive healing energy,vibrations, frequencies, and prayers, along with truck loads of love, big but gentle hugs, and monolithic tons of PERSEVERANCE always!!!