One Year of the Wurst Times

A heartfelt thank you to each of my subscribers.

One year ago the words returned. I’ve held a blog of some variety for over ten years, yet I hadn’t written anything in a very long time. After Isaiah was born, I’d mostly resigned myself to the idea that writing was an outlet and a platform the Lord had removed from me.

The last time words had came to me, forcing me to put hand to paper, was after Aurelia was born. The sweet poem I wrote for her and Wesley in the middle of the night was also on the back of her funeral program.

When Behr arrived, I was overwhelmed by the words filling my mind and heart insisted on being written, and it seemed I couldn’t get them to stop.

That’s when I began to write on this substack. Each post was privately shared behind a paywall and hidden away because I was sure I didn’t want anyone to read the intimate words, but wanted a place where I could write to myself. I needed to see the words of my journey, I wanted to be able to go back on the hard days and remind myself of what God has done and the scriptures he’s placed on my heart.

Still, the urge to share tapped me on the shoulder each day. After a few weeks, I shared a few writings with my mom.

“Maybe if I share these writings, I’ll keep it behind a paywall. It feels less risky and vulnerable,” I said."

It was a protection I felt might be necessary. The hard, raw words might be too much for me knowing how many eyes could see them.

“It’d be a shame if you hid these words behind a paywall,” she said.

I continued writing and shared some with Wesley.

“Share the words, Gracie. You would be inviting people to hope with you. You would be inviting them to see grief in real time, not a cleaned up version years down the road.”

And so I did.

I began writing and sharing with over 200 subscribers who have joined in the journey that God has placed us on over the last year. I know 200 isn’t a lot, but it was more than I ever expected, and many of you I do not know.

Some of you have reached out in my email, the comments, or even introduced yourself to me in person when I did not know you. I hope you know how much you’ve touched the hearts of Wesley and me.

Together, through these posts, we’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve asked God the hard questions, and no matter what, we’ve clung to hope. We’ve believed God was good even when there was nothing good to be seen. We’ve clung to the Lord’s promises knowing he’s faithful and that he endures forever. We’ve allowed the Lord to shape us like clay trusting that no matter the circumstances, he is going to do beautiful things.

We wake up each day ready to allow God to redeem, rebuild, and restore our lives.

We remember that while death has power, life has more.

This audience has been a blessing. I never have asked for a dime and yet some of you have still contributed financially to the upkeep of this substack. Your money has not been wasted. The money that you’ve given by buying from my shop or supporting this substack keeps up with the cost of our grief directory. A place we are slowly growing and expanding for the purpose of being a safe place to come and find the next right thing in the midst of grief.

Thanks to all of you these resources are completely free to whoever needs them.

I have been so thankful for your kind hearts, the encouragement from comments, texts, and calls. My heart has been overwhelmed with gratitude as each week I have shared my thoughts with you.

We all have grief. We all have different hardships we must face, but “how good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity” (Psalm 133:1).

I am praying that we can continue here for the years to come while we are grieving with hope together. I firmly believe that none of us are here on accident. God has crossed our paths for such a time as this.

May God be glorified in every word as every day we walk forward, confident in his love, and finding ourselves deeper in love with him.

Thank you for the best first year in the Wurst of Times.

Sincerely, Gracie & Wesley Wursthorn